In increments, in small ways, and every single day.
Your mindset isn’t this big clunky thing that you are given at birth. Actually, nobody is born with a mindset. It’s not something that’s part of your DNA. In fact, your mindset (a set of attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs you hold) is something you acquire over time by observing the world around you, learning new things, developing critical-thinking skills, creating your own opinions, adjusting your behaviors, and so on. It requires action on your part — and that’s a very empowering way to look at it.
Why?
Because if there’s something about your mindset that bothers you, or no longer works in your favor, you can change it.
How do you make that change in your mindset?
#1. You can nurture a growth mindset.
This is a concept Carol Dweck describes in detail in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. The book explains how we adopt a certain mindset about our abilities very early in life due to words we hear from our parents, teachers, and the community we live in. These words are then “baked into” the attitude we develop towards ourselves: what we “should” be doing, what our strengths and weaknesses are, etc. There are two opposing mindsets that can be either empowering or detrimental to your work and life: a fixed mindset (believing that your affinities and talents are set in stone) and a growth mindset (believing that you can grow and cultivate your skills by working continuously on them). You can take specific steps to develop a growth mindset by taking small steps every day: read this article I wrote to find out more.
#2. You can replace saying, “I can’t do this!” with “Why not try?”
It’s a subtle mind trick you play on yourself that can have long-term results. Instead of giving in to a bout of procrastination, you get proactive about something by just giving yourself the option to do it. First, you need to deal with procrastination itself. Start by looking at the source: is there anything hiding behind your procrastination? For example, maybe you’re fearful that you will not be able to do something successfully, even perfectly. Then, practice the “Why not try?” approach so that you leave some space open for possibilities. it doesn’t mean you’ll instantly become a pro at doing something, but you should signal to your brain that it’s OK to be able to at least try it.
#3. You can adopt a positive attitude towards your mistakes.
Making mistakes is a normal part of life. It’s not so much how many mistakes you make in a lifetime, or how severe you believe those mistakes are; it’s how you approach those mistakes that matters in the long run. Why is this important? Because it’s our attitude towards the mistakes we make that can help us heal faster, understand better, and gain more life wisdom with the experience we accumulate. To start, try a different strategy of viewing something you did in your past by forgiving yourself for a particular mistake you made. Tell yourself, it’s done, it’s already in the past. Reflect on the mistake, learn something from it, but don’t hold on to it or ruminate about it for long stretches of time. When you learn to let it go, you will give yourself more freedom to manage your future successfully.
#4. You can be curious about learning new things.
You probably remember being curious as a child, and then over time you got sucked into the world of adulthood, with all the responsibilities, the crazy schedules, and the time that just flies by. But being curious can be an advantage to you at every stage of your life. Start with rethinking what you learn and how you learn it. Why limit your learning experience? Just because something is not taught in school or at university, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend time learning about it. Visit your local library and pick up books on a topic that is interesting to you. Take an online class in the evening, or watch free tutorials on YouTube on developing a skill that will feel empowering to you. Learn something new every day, whether it’s learning how to code, finding out which foods keep you healthy, or which books you can read that will teach you something valuable.
#5. You can keep yourself open to the future.
Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you’re not certain how to proceed, start by asking this question: What if? For example, what if you conquer a fear you’ve had about something that’s been bothering you for some time, such as a fear of speaking in front of a large audience? And what if conquering that fear takes you to a new level of understanding yourself and all the wonderful things you are capable of doing? When you head out on that personal journey, your life can be catapulted forward in ways you could not even imagine today. Instead of seeing life as a series of challenging events you have to endure, you start noticing doors that are open to opportunities that you didn’t notice before. Life becomes an adventure in exploring who you are and how much you can stretch yourself to your full capacity as a human being. And it all begins in one place — your mindset.
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