If you’re dedicated to build more self-discipline in your life:
- Don’t treat it as an extracurricular activity. Don’t practice something for one week then say to yourself, Ooooh this is tougher than I thought. Maybe it’s not for me.
- Ask yourself, What’s in this for me? If I persevere, what are the concrete benefits I will get? Understanding the reason for doing something differently is key. You need to get your brain on board that this change is a positive one.
- Stop procrastinating and start doing. This means you should identify one area of your life where you’d like to see more improvement. Is it prioritizing work? Spending less time on Twitter? Going to bed earlier? Give yourself a place from which to start.
There are many habits that can boost your self-discipline. For example:
#1. Train your brain to focus on what’s most important.
This is a simple routine you can practice in the morning. The goal of the routine is to get your brain used to making decisions on what it needs to focus on as soon as you wake up. Here’s how I practice it. I start my day with this question: “What is the onething I am committed to completing today?” This technique gets my brain to start evaluating the goals that are important to me right now and forces me to prioritize one goal that needs attention immediately. In addition, I give myself the time to think about what’s important in my life, instead of letting other people or situations dictate what I should or shouldn’t be doing.
What’s the process?
Write the question down in big letters on a sheet of paper and hang it on your bedroom or bathroom wall. Read it out loud as you start your day, for example as you’re brushing your teeth or getting dressed. Come up with an answer on the spot and answer it out loud. Then follow up by taking action: focus your energy throughout the day to completing your one thing.
#2. Maximize your willpower.
When we wake up to begin our day, it’s common for most of us to feel a sense of overwhelm because there are so many things we need to do, from small routine tasks to working on large projects towards bigger goals, both professional and personal. As a result, our first response might be to delay doing anything (because it’s hard to decide what to do and in what order), which translates into a bad habit of procrastinating. That’s a self-imposed obstacle. Why? Because we all have a finite amount of willpower that takes us through the day. And that willpower gets weaker and weaker as the day progresses. So if you think you’ll start writing that essay after dinner, think again. Chances are you’ll put if off some more and turn to your TV instead.
What’s the process?
Practicing self-discipline means that if you want to focus on priorities, you should work on them early. As early in the day as possible — in fact, start right after breakfast. Do that task that you’ve been putting off all week before lunchtime. Write up a plan for the school or work week ahead of time. Finish up doing homework or reviewing your exam questions that you’ve been procrastinating on for days because you’d rather do something more fun. The benefit? You gain a sense of accomplishment early that will make you feel better about the whole day.
#3. Treat a new habit as a choice instead of punishment.
OK, so you’ve figured out that there’s something in your life you’d like to change because you don’t like what you’re currently doing (or not doing). It can be a fitness goal you’d like to reach (start running in the mornings like you used to in college), a health benefit (stop eating dinner in restaurants three times a week), or better manage your time (get more sleep instead of watching shows on Netflix until 2 a.m.). All those new habits you want to acquire will need self-discipline, time, and repetition. If this sounds unappealing, it’s because you make it sound that way: you feel like you “should” be doing something difficult when you’d rather be relaxing.
What’s the process?
First, stop telling yourself that keeping a life-changing habit is a way to punish yourself. That’s the wrong attitude to have for anything in your life. If you keep thinking this way, you might give up on many things that can make a huge difference for you. Instead, think of a new habit as a choice that you make in order to become a better version of yourself. And next, make the change as easy as possible by starting with tiny steps. Instead of saying you have to hit the gym for two hours each evening after work, do a mini-workout at home for 10 minutes each day to give your body time to adjust. Or, start going to bed 15 minutes earlier and read a good book or listen to relaxing music to help you fall asleep faster.
#4. Learn to manage your busy thoughts.
Having random thoughts pop up throughout the day — sometimes fast, sometimes related to what’s happening around us, or sometimes worrying about the future — isn’t anything unusual. The older we get, the more cognitive input we have, and we often struggle to categorize this input. What’s relevant to our life and what isn’t? Which problem do I need to solve? Is this something I can control, or can I let it go? The goal should be not to let all these thought determine your mood, affect your behavior, and force you to make decisions you wouldn’t be making if you just had some time to sit and think about what needs to be done next. There are ways to manage your thoughts better.
What’s the process?
First, it’s important to be aware that if you feel overwhelmed, have negative or self-critical thoughts, or find yourself ruminating on past events and personal failures, you are not alone. The good news is this: even though you may think it, you are not your thoughts. You are much bigger than your thoughts! And second, start considering a few habits to reign in those thoughts and categorize them as either relevant or just dramatic. You can start with a 10-minute meditation to calm your thoughts and even slow down the chaos. An excellent app to try is Headspace. Also, you can devote 30 minutes a day to being outside in a park or by the beach. Spending some time in nature really does positively affect the brain.
#5. Say no to what distracts you.
If you think that all the gadgets and toys we have at our disposal today are to blame for getting distracted easily, think again. Even the Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote about this, and the topic is featured in his book On the Shortness of Life. Seneca describes people’s struggles with gluttony, vanity, focusing on materialistic things, and always trying to impress others. Sound familiar? Maybe today we don’t host lavish banquets to impress our guests, but we do pay attention to what we see on social media and we observe the images of surreal lifestyles on Facebook or Instagram. And that often leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, envy, and self-criticism.
What’s the process?
First, take everything you see on social media with a grain of salt. Chances are those pictures and updates are not a real representation of everyday life, but rather a tactic someone is using to sell a product, service, or brand. And second, don’t waste your time on distractions if they don’t serve the purpose of adding value to your life. Set your phone to Airplane mode when you need to focus, especially in the first few hours of the day. Let people in your inner circle know you won’t be available for a few hours. Check email and social media apps in the afternoons and evening, instead of spending the first 30 minutes of your day on them. Close all tabs on your browser that may be tempting you to unfocus from your important work.
📖✏️🗓 If you are interested in this topic, I put together an e-book package called My Complete Self-Discipline Kit (Workbook + Journal). You can learn more about it here.
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