Is there any self-help book that really changed your life?

Pssssst!

Can I make a slight edit to this question?

How about we change it from self-help and make it about self-improvement?

I’ll tell you why.

To me, when we use the word help, there’s a sense of urgency. If you’re in trouble and you don’t have ample time to contemplate which step to take, you say, Help! It’s about emergencies, rapid decision-making, and solving—in most cases—one specific problem or issue.

On the other hand, when we use the word improvement, there’s a much wider path that’s open to us. OK, so maybe we still feel a sense of urgency because we find ourselves in trouble, there’s a problem that’s on our mind, or we find ourselves repeating self-destructive behaviors but can’t seem to find a way out. Regardless of the problem, we need a solution. But the open path means that we can give ourselves the time to learn, solidify, retain, practice, and adopt new habits that can get us on the path to achieving a personal goal.

Does that make sense?

Now on to the answer.

One self-improvement book that has changed my life, and is still changing it every single day, is Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. To say that it’s changed my life is also an understatement. It has make me question so much about not only my life, but human behavior in general! And it’s helped me understand that we as human beings have so much power in our hands to make our lives so much more. Lives that are better. Smarter. More fulfilling. More valuable. And with more purpose.

To summarize, Dweck’s book is about our mindset—the set of attitudes and beliefs we have about the world around us, people we interact with, and ultimately about ourselves. She suggests that the view we have of ourselves can dramatically affect the way we lead our life. Dweck makes an important distinction between two types of mindsets that people generally have. One is a fixed mindset—believing that our skills, strengths, and qualities are set in stone and there’s nothing we can do to change them, for better or for worse. The other is a growth mindset—believing that we can cultivate those same skills and qualities through long-term dedication and effort. While a fixed mindset is adopted over time by listening to messages from a young age about what we can, should, or shouldn’t do (usually by parents, relatives, teachers), a growth mindset is nurtured primarily by ourselves as we deliberately select those learning opportunities that can benefit us.

What does practicing a growth mindset look like in real life?

Here are 5 ways to incorporate it into your day so you can see what a difference it can make.

Growth mindset idea #1. Learn something new every day.

It’s not limited to what’s on your current course syllabus or school curriculum for the year. It doesn’t have to be limited by your job description, or even a particular interest or hobby you’re pursuing in the evening hours or on weekends. You can learn something new and different in many ways. You can spend an evening watching a documentary about everything there is to know on ancient Egypt, artificial intelligence, or Alexander the Great. Or, you can research something practical and useful in your daily life, such as which foods can give you energy to train for a marathon or just get you through an interval training session at the gym. Whatever it is, one thing is key— stay curious and be willing to learn something you do not know right now.

Growth mindset idea #2. Create your own “growth mindset” tribe.

You may have heard of the phrase that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. And chances are, you don’t give much thought to the company you keep, whether it’s people you live with or the ones you interact with on a regular basis. Still, it’s important because you may not be aware of how much those closest to you—family members, close friends, coworkers and classmates—can impact your mood, your attitude, your beliefs, and even what you see as your strengths or weaknesses. How can you pick more growth mindset people to hang out with? Make friends with people who show a can-do attitude, who take on a positive and optimistic tone when talking about problems, and who work hard every day on getting better at something. Get to know them better and nurture friendships with them.

Growth mindset idea #3. Change the way you look at success.

Here’s an excellent example of fixed versus growth mindset. If you’ve adopted a fixed mindset, you think being successful means that things come easily and effortlessly to you or to someone else, whether it’s being a straight A student or a chess champion. The downside to a fixed way of thinking is that people get too comfortable in doing something well with little effort. So what’s the growth mindset way of thinking? Instead of thinking that success is being the best, you start thinking of success as doing your best. This means you switch your focus from staying in the comfort zone to coming up with ways to improve how you do your work, such as breaking down a difficult task in smaller and more doable increments, or waking up a bit earlier each morning to practice a positive habit such as doing yoga or going for a run.

Growth mindset idea #4. Declare war on your inner lazy self.

Here’s another excellent example of how your fixed mindset can be undermining your efforts. If you have a fixed mindset, as soon as you achieve a goal (pass an exam, turn in a large project ahead of the deadline, or win a prestigious competition), you tend to slip into a complacent mood. You sit back, take it easy, pat yourself on the back for doing so well…. and then just expect things to go smoothly in the future. With a growth mindset, you don’t let things go that easily. Yes, it’s important to take a breather, acknowledge reaching an important milestone, and appreciate how far you’ve come. But give yourself a time limit. Then be proactive to make sure your success doesn’t just fall into oblivion. For example, if you’ve passed your exams, don’t spend your entire vacation on the couch watching TV or gaming; instead, build a cool new skill that excites you such as learning karate or playing electric guitar.

Growth mindset idea #5. Don’t get envious, get proactive.

It’s not a big surprise to start feeling envious whenever we hear a friend, coworker, or acquaintance start talking about something wonderful that’s happening in their life right now. It can be a number of things—they just began attending a course they’re fascinated with, they started a personal project they’ve been putting off for years and are now fully engrossed in it, or they’re starting their own business and adore their entrepreneurial lifestyle. What’s a better way to deal with such news? Resist the urge to feel envious that things are going well for them, and instead take a cue from them and spend some time brainstorming original ideas of your own. Which project can you start that can improve the quality of your life? How can you make a career decision that will benefit you in the long run? Write your ideas down, then come up with a plan to turn them into actions. And that, right there, is practicing your own growth mindset—one new idea at a time!

Advertisements

What is the one skill that, if you have it, will completely change your life?

 

Grow your mindset so that you can view success and failure in the best light possible.

Because that is where everything begins: in your head. In the way you see the world around you. In the way you process events that happen to you. In the attitude you develop as you deal with real life, daily events, people you interact with, obstacles that stand in your way, goals that you strive to reach.

That attitude plays a critical role in how you understand success and failure, it strengthens (or weakens) the coping mechanisms you need to deal with life’s challenges, it defines the way you see yourself, and ultimately it impacts the overall quality of your life. Chances are, the attitude doesn’t always begin with you. It started as you were growing up, and was influenced by the messages you received from your parents, your teachers, and the environment you grew up in. As a result, you developed one of two types of mindsets:

  • A fixed mindset is when we believe that our qualities are set in stone (either at birth or in early childhood), and that we can only have a certain level of intelligence, a certain type of personality, or a certain moral character. If we consider ourselves intelligent, we expect success at every step, and when we encounter an obstacle, we withdraw or give up entirely.
  • A growth mindset is when we believe that our genetic structure and our early years are merely the starting point in our development, and that we can improve on our qualities through continuous efforts. If we understand that there is always room for growth, we approach life as a continuum of learning and we treat obstacles as opportunities to better ourselves and improve our skills further.

Here are 3 tips to grow your mindset so that you can view success and failure in a way that’s most beneficial to you.

Tip #1. Change how you view success. Instead of thinking that success is being the best, think of success as doing your best, always learning new things and improving the way you do your work and manage your personal development. For example:

  • Take ownership of your day by planning it out so you have time to accomplish what you need to do, instead of reacting to events and letting them take over your day.
  • To get a head start, create a morning routine and wake up a bit earlier so that you can work out and tackle the most complex cognitive tasks that require your complete focus.
  • When you are working, remove all distractions and focus on what’s in front of you. Make a connection between what you’re doing right now and why you’re doing it, so that you always keep your goals top of mind.

Tip #2. Change how you view failure. Instead of seeing your failures as confirmation of your inability to do something, see a failure as a setback: it can be motivating, informative, even a wake-up call. It isn’t an excuse to give up entirely on something; it can even build character. For example:

  • When you fail an exam or get a lower grade than you expected, take stock of how you did: write down how much time you devoted to studying, which materials you used, even where you studied. Then think of how to improve and make changes so that you do better next time. In other words, create your plan B.
  • When you receive criticism of your work, don’t immediately get emotional. Closely examine what is the core of the message: did you overlook an important detail, was there a pattern of errors you’ve repeated from before, did you miss a deadline because you forgot? Then take some time to make the necessary changes, correct what needs to be done, and move on.
  • When you get frustrated at yourself for not making progress as quickly as you’d like, make an assessment of the path you are taking: is there someone more experienced you can ask who can advise you, are you using your resources wisely, do you need to carve out more time in your day to devote to your practice? Then map out your next steps so that you can get to your goal faster.

Tip #3. Take charge of your success. When you succeed, don’t just sit back and expect it to last. Take concrete steps to maintain it, keep it in good shape, and make it last. For example:

  • If you’ve successfully completed your exams, don’t just waste away your summer watching TV or sitting in front of the computer surfing the Internet. Make a plan to improve on a skill that is important to your personal development (practicing a new language, getting fit for a marathon, learning more about world history or geography), then work on it daily.
  • If you turned in a big project and met the deadline, don’t just sit back and chat with coworkers for hours and watch YouTube videos when the boss is out of the office. Look for something else you can get strategic about: is there an upcoming big meeting you can plan for, a new tool your team just started using that you can familiarize yourself with, a professional milestone that you can prepare for and discuss with your manager? Then make some time in your schedule to work on it on a regular basis.
  • If you just mastered a skill that is important for school, work, or your personal interests, don’t just keep it to yourself. Find out who might also benefit from your expertise and knowledge, then teach it to others. When you share your success, your work will give you a greater sense of purpose, and you’ll feel more connected to what you’ve accomplished. In addition, you will be providing something of value to other people and helping them achieve success in their lives, which in turn will enrich your own life experience and make it more relevant.

What can I do in a 30-day period, on a daily basis, to start myself on the way to become the best version of myself?

You can develop a laser-sharp focus on who exactly is the best version of yourself. What are the goals of the ideal version of you? Which skills does the ideal you possess? And what does the big picture of that ideal life look like?

Chances are, like most of us, you’re probably so busy with your everyday life that you rarely have the time to contemplate any of this. So you put it off. Maybe next time when I’m on vacation I’ll think about it. When the semester is over. When I have more money. Just not now.

And before you know it, days rush into months, and months turn into years. And you still have no idea of who the best version of yourself could be. But what if you make a decision right now to use the next month of your life to find out more about the ideal you? When you do, the time that lies ahead of you will work in your favor, because every month and every year will get you closer to your ultimate goal.

Where to begin?

Here are 7 tips you can follow this month to get on the path to becoming the best version of yourself.

Tip #1. Develop a personal goal.

You should always have a specific goal that is driving you to succeed. When you do, everything you do in your daily life will have a greater sense of purpose. Take a day or two to write down the personal goal you are going to focus on for the month.

  • Make sure your goal is precisely formulated. For example, don’t just say that you want to get a job, be fit, have a large salary; instead, say you want to get a job offer for a [insert job title you want] that pays an annual salary of [insert amount you believe is fair given your skills and experience] so that you can develop [insert specific skills you have as well as those you’re working towards].
  • To help you focus on your goal, start each day with the question: “What is the ONE THING I am committed to completing today?” This question forces you to prioritize, helps your brain focus better, and streamlines the work you need to do on that particular day, so that you don’t feel overwhelmed with making too many choices and instead you are free to focus on what’s most important to you.

Tip #2. Create a strategy to achieve your goal.

Goals are important, but so is developing your strategy. While you are focusing on what you want to do right now, always keep your eye on at least two steps ahead. Once you’ve defined your goal, take one day to think about the strategy.

  • Consider different avenues and approaches you may need to take to get you closer to your goal. Maybe you’re used to doing things a certain way, so it’s a great idea to challenge yourself and try doing something differently.
  • Don’t focus on achieving short-term success you will feel today; instead, consider the benefits of your actions in the long run. For example, think of how the choices you make at school or work today will affect your lifestyle five years from now.
  • Don’t think only of who you are right now, at this stage of your life; instead, think of who you want to be in 5 or 10 years. By being strategic you will empower yourself to achieve long term results that your future self can benefit from.

Tip #3. Brainstorm a list of skills you need to succeed.

It’s impossible to be successful without a required skill set in your field of work, regardless of whether it’s studying for a degree, being a software developer, training for a marathon, or getting fit. Here’s what you can brainstorm after you’ve written down your goal and strategy:

  • Identify skills of thought leaders who have mastered something in their field of expertise. Do the research to find this out. For example, do you know what makes them unique? By identifying patterns in behaviors of others, it becomes easier to emulate them and develop successful traits in ourselves.
  • Identify which skills you want to work on.From the list of skills of thought leaders, consider the following: Are any of their skills necessary or helpful for you to succeed in doing your job? Which are the top 3 skills in your field of study or work are most in demand? Which skills do you need to get better at doing your job?

Tip #4. Work on each skill consistently for the rest of the month.

Nothing will get done automatically. You’ll need to map out what you need to do, starting with the early morning hours. Here are some ideas.

  • Use your mornings wisely to set the tone for the day: Develop a morning routine so that you can work on your skills earlier in the day, when your brain can focus better and your schedule doesn’t stand in the way.
  • Create a plan to develop your top 3 skills consistently each day. Block off time in each day, including weekends, to work towards your goal of acquiring the skills you’ve identified as most important to you.
  • Work with your schedule. If you have one hour to devote in the evenings, then block this hour off every day and don’t let others sidetrack you. Turn off all of your distractions. Sit in a quiet room, or if that’s not possible in your home, go to the local library. But if one hour is not realistic given your schedule right now, then set aside 15–30 minutes to work on one skill. The time will add up in a big way, and you will still be able to see results after 30 days.

Tip #5. Whenever you feel the urge to procrastinate, replace the words “I can’t do this!” with “Why not try it?”

Hey, we’re all guilty of procrastinating at some point as we’re working on our goals, whether they’re small daily ones or really big ones. This is quite normal and it’s a human reaction. But there’s something you can do to deal with the procrastination.

  • First, ask yourself if there is something else hiding behind procrastination. Maybe it is fear of not being able to do something successfully, not being able to be better at it than other people, or maybe not even understanding why we are doing something to begin with.
  • Next time you feel like procrastinating, rather than immediately reacting with “I can’t do it,” ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Be honest with yourself. Start with providing an explanation, for example by saying, “I can’t because….” Then you’ll know the source of your resistance.
  • Think of what you gain when you say “Why not try it?” You win over fear and you start thinking beyond obstacles. There is something powerful when you leave a door open to explore possibilities, instead of shutting that same door in your own face. It’s a subtle change in your attitude that can have a big impact in your life.

Tip #6. Take ownership of your free time.

Why not admit it? At some point in our lives we have all let television, commercials, mass media, or social media control the way we spend the little free time that we have in the evenings. Instead of just giving in to passive forms of entertainment and then finding yourself hours later wondering where the time went, why not plan what you want to do with your free time?

  • Use an hour after dinner to do some strategic thinking. Since this is the time of day when the brain slows down and is freed from the deadlines you impose on it earlier in the day, use the time for creative thinking. For example, if you’re working on your goal for the month, consider your progress so far. How are you making progress, is it going well, or are there obstacles you didn’t expect? What can you do next time you run into an obstacle? How can you be better prepared for the next day?
  • Watch documentaries you can learn from. YouTube is full of them (search for BBC and History Channel documentaries), so go ahead and search the topics that interest you. Check out British historian Bettany Hughes and her series called The Ancient Worlds to learn about everyday life in ancient Alexandria, Rome, Athens, and about the way society was organized among Minoans, Spartans, and the Moors. Another excellent 3-part series by the BBC is Ibn Battuta: The Man Who Walked Across the World.
  • Start reading more books. It doesn’t matter if they’re fiction or non-fiction. What’s important is that you feed your brain, learn new things, time travel, and absorb the life experiences of other people. If they’re excellent storytellers, you will soon be drawn into their world so that you cannot put the book down. To start, check out recommendations on the best books of all time on Quora. Or download the Goodreads app to get recommendations, add books to your bookshelf, and track your reading progress.

Tip #7. Keep learning, keep improving, keep hacking your life.

Now that you’ve started to incorporate some changes into your life to remain focused on things that are your top priority, all you need to do is continue moving forward. Life is not static, and your efforts should also not be static. Think about ways to improve what you’re doing each day.

  • Measure your progress. Find ways to measure how you’re moving forward. Maybe you’ll set aside 30 minutes each day to focus on learning a new skill. If so, add up the hours at the end of the week and see if you can add more time each day, even if it’s just a few more minutes. Then see how many hours you’ve devoted to it in a month.
  • Evaluate how you’re doing. Ask yourself a few questions to understand how you’re keeping up with the goals you’ve set for yourself. For example, did some activities you started doing take more time than you anticipated? What could you have done better? Where can you make adjustments to stay on track?
  • Take time to appreciate the change. Yes, it’s important to make progress, to stay focused, to reach that important goal. But every step of the way in getting there is super important too. So find the time each evening to pause and reflect on what you’re doing, and give yourself some well-deserved praise for all those efforts. You’re finally on the right path to becoming that best version of yourself!

How do I motivate myself when I am failing at every stage of my life?

I’ll let you in on a secret about failure: no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape it. You may think you have a lot of things going for you, or that you’re on a winning streak, or things just feel really good. And then it happens. Sometimes you get a warning signal, or a bunch of red flags flapping in the wind, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes it quietly creeps up on you, and by the time you feel it, it’s too late to change course.

Or is it?

Maybe the solution is in how you train your brain to think about failure.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s not what happens to you in your life that matters, but rather how you react to it that will determine the course of your life.

So how do you train your brain to stay motivated despite all the failures you experienced?

Start with these 7 tips and follow up questions to ask yourself so that you can gain a fresh perspective on what to do differently.

Tip 1. Congratulate yourself for making it this far.

Yes, if you hadn’t failed, by now you’d be celebrating the big win. But whatever happened to all the effort you put into it? That doesn’t just disappear. It’s really important to give yourself kudos for every small step you put into it. Why is this important? Your brain doesn’t know the difference between progress and perceived progress, so you’re better off giving praise for the small steps you’ve taken. Watch this TEDx Talk featuring B.J. Fogg, the Director of the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University, to see why the secret is not in the big wins but in the small ones.

Question to ask yourself:

  • What is one thing I’ve done successfully in the past month: did I finish a big chunk of a project, meet a deadline, learn how to use a tool to do my job better, or finish a semester at school?

Tip 2. Resist getting emotional about it.

Sometimes it’s that voice that you hear saying, I can’t do it! It’s too hard! I’m going to give up! If it is, just chalk it up to the fixed mindset talking. What’s a fixed mindset? It’s your belief that your personality, skill set, and strengths are “fixed” i.e. you have them from birth, and that that’s just how it is. What’s better? Adopting a growth mindset: believing that you can cultivate strengths and skills through your efforts. That is hugely empowering! Read Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success to better understand how you can make lasting change with continuous effort.

Question to ask yourself:

  • Do I say something is difficult because I’ve always found it challenging to do, and how would I change this if I could start all over again?

Tip 3. Tap into the bigger picture.

Ask yourself, Why am I doing this? Whatever you are working on, zoom out of your current situation and connect with the initial reason you started doing it. This will remind you that your actions are directly linked to your personal or professional goals. Maybe you started working on acquiring a new skill such as playing an instrument to fulfill a lifelong dream. Or, you are studying for exams, so that you can get a degree that will open doors for you to embark on an exciting career and gain financial independence. Or maybe you’re looking for a job that is a better fit for your skill set and your career path than the last one you had.

Question to ask yourself:

  • Why is this challenge so important to me? What is at the core? What will I gain from solving it? What will this mean to my life in the long run?

Tip 4. Consider that you could be a victim of self-sabotage.

Maybe it’s not external factors that are making a task impossible, even though you’d like to think so (My manager hates me! or The professor is deliberately making this exam difficult to pass!). Maybe the real reason is you and what you’re doing (or not!) to make it difficult to reach your goal. Is that entirely impossible? Not really. It’s more common than you may think. Check out this article to find out how changing your environment or adhering to the 2-minute rule can break this bad habit.

Question to ask yourself:

  • What is really behind my negative self-talk, am I scared to do something or is there one thing that’s blocking me?

Tip 5. Start anticipating obstacles and prepare for them.

When we are faced with an obstacle, we tend to stop what we’re doing and start reacting: we get emotional, we complain. It’s not fair! It’s impossible to fix! But complaining won’t change a thing. What will make a difference is getting proactive. How? First, start anticipating that there will be obstacles you will encounter on your path. If you prepare yourself psychologically for them, they won’t feel so devastating when they actually do happen. Second, use the opportunity to learn something new, to take a different approach to the problem, to think it through, and to try something different that can yield better results. And third, take advantage of the tough times to achieve mastery in one area so that you can become an expert at it. That way you proactively take advantage of your full potential, and you use your strengths to accomplish what you want to do with your life.

Question to ask yourself:

  • What are 3 things I can do when I am faced with an obstacle? Which solutions can I brainstorm so that I have them ready in case I need them?

Tip 6. Create a peaceful place in your mind.

More important than tidying up your apartment or house, it will benefit you greatly if you regularly work on keeping your mind clean and uncluttered. Why? When it’s not full of jumbled thoughts, confusion and worry, it can work its real magic. And how do you do that? By practicing mindfulness through meditation. This small practice doesn’t require a lot of time, it’s simple to follow, and it has many benefits, including better focus and more concentration. You can try it early in the day so that you prepare your brain for the day ahead, or you can practice it at night so you have more restful and calm sleep. Download the Headspace app to start with a simple 10-minute session.

Question to ask yourself:

  • When can I set aside 10 minutes today to practice mindfulness?

Tip 7. Make the time to take a well-deserved break.

We tend to feel bad about the decisions we made or the things that happened to us when we’re tired and our brain is exhausted from trying so hard to do things successfully. Maybe you’ve spent hours sitting at your desk or working on a challenging task, and your brain needs a break. What are some things you can do? If you don’t have a deadline later in the day, take a few hours off and go outside for a walk or a bike ride. You can take a power nap to get energized to work more later. Or you can find other ways to relax, such as listening to music or reading a chapter or two from a good book.

Question to ask yourself:

  • What is an activity that relaxes me that I can treat myself to doing today?

What are some of the best life-changing books?

 

Here are 7 books that have made a big impact on my life most recently, along with a few details on why I think they’re important:

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca.

There’s so much timeless wisdom in this book! A collection of letters written by Seneca, it’s a dense read but be warned—you’ll be taking notes from every letter because each one is full of practical advice we can incorporate into our lives. And maybe it’s an even better idea to read it through once, then go back and take notes the second time—you’ll be glad you did. The letters cover quite a large selection of topics. You’ll get to the bottom of what is the importance of true friendship, to why you should exercise your mind daily, to specific ways of reducing anxiety about all the different events that are happening in your life, Seneca’s ideas are a blueprint for living a high quality of life every single day.

Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin.

Written by two decorated, former Navy SEALs who fought during the war in Iraq, this book is a glimpse into what happens on the battlefield, and even more how a leader makes (or breaks) the success of a team. It’s a fascinating read about the importance of setting a strategy, how to prioritize what needs to be done first, how critical it is to check your ego, and why taking full responsibility when things go wrong promotes good leadership and success. At times the book reads like a thriller, and then you realize all the scenarios that are described are based on real events and experiences we can learn from and apply to our daily lives.

Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David, PhD.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to acquire a growth mindset, this book is an informative and excellent read. Written by a psychologist PhD who teaches at Harvard Medical School, the book introduces the concept of emotional agility—being flexible with our thoughts and feelings (the equivalent of having a growth mindset), instead of being rigid and holding on to beliefs from our past (the equivalent of having a fixed mindset). There are four key concepts of emotional agility: showing up (facing your thoughts and feelings), stepping out (detaching from them), walking your why (focusing on your core values), and moving on (getting proactive in changing your habits and mindset).

So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love by Cal Newport.

The title comes from advice that the comedian Steve Martin gave a while back to aspiring entertainers: be so good they can’t ignore you! Newport challenges the advice we often hear that we should follow our passion, and says that going down this path can be dangerous, invoke anxiety, and feed into a constant need to reinvent ourselves. Instead, Newport argues that matching our dream job to a preexisting passion doesn’t matter, but that passion comes after we put in the hard work to excel at something that provides value to others. This is a must read for anyone who feels they don’t really have any specific passion and are not sure how to choose their career path or move forward with their life.

Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers by Tim Ferriss.

This book looks and reads like an encyclopedia: there’s so much information included and it’s best if you read it in small chunks! In essence, the material is divided into three sections (Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise), and consists of a comprehensive collection of life experiences, tools, and hands-on tactics compiled from a series of interviews Ferriss conducted with world-class leaders in diverse fields of expertise. These leaders range from top athletes to best-selling authors to Special Ops commanders. It’s like drinking from a very concentrated cup of wisdom!

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The Daily Stoic is almost like a workbook: it offers 366 days of quotes of Stoic philosophers as well as practical applications of their wisdom through exercises. The philosophers mentioned include Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, Zeno, and Cleanthes. Here are two examples of powerful quotes: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality” (Seneca), and “We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own” (Marcus Aurelius). In other words, everyone can find something here they can relate to! There’s also a ton of commentary to accompany each quote, and a super useful glossary of Greek terms.

Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story by Jewel.

The artist provides a blueprint on how we can build strength and resilience in order to become a stronger, better balanced, and happier person. Instead of being impatient with ourselves, we should be more like hard wood that grows slowly: not look for quick fixes, but focus more on who we want to become in the long run. Jewel suggests this is possible to do by making decisions that aren’t focused on only the present, getting to the root of the problem we’re facing, and giving ourselves the permission to grow so that we can become the architect of our dreams.

What is the most effective way to enhance working memory?

You may not be aware of it, but you use your working memory (aka short-term memory) on a daily basis. So it’s no wonder you want to keep it in optimal shape!

There are 2 types of working memory: auditory (everything you hear) and visual-spatial (everything you see). And even though it sounds scientific, the bottom line is this:

Working memory is a thinking skill that helps you to

  • process new information
  • understand what this new information means
  • remember it when you need it
  • recall it (or play it back) immediately after you’ve processed it

A few real-life examples of when you use your working memory are:

  • whenever you learn a new sport
  • when you’re taking an exam
  • when you’re writing a shopping list or packing a bag for vacation
  • every time you follow a set of instructions or directions

So what’s an effective way to enhance this useful skill?

Here’s one: whenever you learn something new, teach it to someone else.

What are the benefits of teaching what you’ve learned?

This technique is easy to practice, gives you confidence by strengthening your knowledge of the newly-learned material, and boosts your memorization. You can review, recall, and retain what you’ve learned better and more effectively than just passively keeping it to yourself without taking any action.

How do you actually teach what you’ve learned?

Start with these tips:

  • Get an audience, real or imaginary. A real audience can be a close friend, study partner or family member. But if you’re too shy to speak to anyone about what you learned, you can pretend that you have a few invisible students who really need to learn the same thing, and talk to them. Even better: grab the family dog or cat and talk to it. Pets can be excellent listeners and a captive audience!
  • Create your own classroom. If you’re going to teach someone something, you need to create the space in which to do it. Take a large sheet of white paper (or tape together several sheets for a bigger writing surface), then tape it to your bedroom wall at eye level. Be sure you have some leg room to stand in front of it. Have a pen handy, and a thick black marker or different colored highlighters to underline important concepts. Now you have all the tools to begin.
  • Get to work. Here’s where you’ll have the opportunity to apply what you’ve just learned. Start with this simple sequence of steps:
    • Stand in front of the large sheet of paper you’ve taped to the wall, and write an outline of the most important points or concepts of what you just learned. It can be a set of simple directions on how to do something, or a few key concepts you’ve learned from a chapter in your textbook.
    • Then, go over each of the steps or concepts aloud one by one. As you’re talking, make you “lecture” more interactive by drawing diagrams on the side, small illustrations or even short lists of examples. You can also tell a short story or joke to add a touch of humor to what you’re teaching.
    • At the end, summarize the key parts of what you covered by going over the main parts of your outline once again, and highlight these sections with your thick marker or highlighter. This visual tip helps you recall details better and can solidify what you’ve learned.
  • Keep it top of mind. You’re already done teaching what you learned, so you completed the lecture part of the learning process. But it will help you if you keep what you learned top of mind the rest of the day. Whenever you find yourself on a long commute home, or doing a workout at the gym or nearby park, or as you’re running errands, ask yourself to repeat the key concepts again. This is a perfect time to go over them, remembering how you wrote your outline on the paper, talked about each point, and highlighted the main sections using different colors. Repeating newly learned material will reinforce your knowledge of it even more, and you’ll be optimizing your working memory in a way that’s useful to you, regardless of what you’re working on!

If you can give me only one tip to improve my life, what would it be?

Excellent question!

I think the best tip that’s worked for me is to develop a growth mindset.

Why is this even important?

Because mindset = attitude towards yourself = believing what you can do.

And that, in a nutshell, is the single most important tool that you can have that will help you accomplish personal goals, overcome obstacles, and ultimately lead a higher quality of life.

What is a growth mindset?

There are 2 types of mindsets we can identify with:

  • Fixed mindset: when we believe that our qualities are set in stone (either at birth or in early childhood), and that we can only have a certain level of intelligence, a certain type of personality, or a certain moral character. If we consider ourselves intelligent, we expect success at every step, and when we encounter an obstacle, we withdraw or give up entirely.
  • Growth mindset: when we believe that our genetic structure and our early years are merely the starting point in our development, and that we can improve on our qualities through continuous efforts. If we understand that there is always room for growth, we approach life as a continuum of learning and we treat obstacles as opportunities to better ourselves and improve our skills further.

Which examples show this difference?

  • Examples of fixed mindset: When you were a child and did something well, maybe your parents praised you with statements such as, “You’re so smart!” or “You’re a genius!” or “You’re a natural!” or “You were just born that way!”
  • Examples of growth mindset: If your parents or teachers praised you with words such as, “You passed the test because you worked so hard!” or “You were struggling at first, but then you were persistent, and look at you now!” or “You can do this if you spend some time working a little bit each day to get better at it!”

How can your mindset affect your future?

A fixed or growth mindset goes a long way towards shaping your life, either positively or negatively. It can influence your day-to-day behavior, the types of goals you set for yourself, what you succeed or fail in, the relationships you pick (friends, partners, even pets), the skills you choose to work on for your personal as well as your professional development.

What are some ways to develop a growth mindset?

  • Always stay curious. Learn something new every day, whether it’s about the history of the world, how things work, which foods and activities keep you healthy, which habits can help you become a better person, or which books you can read that will teach you something valuable.
  • Don’t limit your learning experience. Just because it’s not taught in school doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend time learning about it. Go to the library and pick up books on a topic that is interesting to you. Take an online class in the evening, or watch free tutorials on YouTube on how to develop a skill you think would be empowering to you. Ask someone who’s an expert and who has achieved mastery in a field or a skill you want to have.
  • Change the way you look at success. Instead of thinking that success is being the best, think of success as doing your best, always improving the way you do your work and manage your personal development. For example, take ownership of your day by planning it out so you have time to accomplish what you need to. When you’re working, remove all distractions and focus on what’s in front of you. Make a connection between what you’re doing right now and why you’re doing it, so that you always keep your goals top of mind.
  • Change the way you view failure. Instead of seeing your failures as confirmation of your inability to do something, see a failure as a setback: it can be motivating, informative, even a wake-up call. It isn’t an excuse to give up entirely on something; it can even build character. For example, if you fail an exam, take stock of how you did and think of how to improve next time. If you get criticized at work, instead of getting emotional, be rational and closely examine what is the core of the message (did you overlook an important detail, miss a deadline, or just forget to do something?) so you can correct things and move on.
  • Try your best to not get frustrated with yourself. This can happen, and does happen often to us all. For example, you’re not making progress as quickly as you’d like, so it’s best to make an assessment of the path you’re on and see what needs to be fixed. Maybe there is someone more experienced you can ask to advise you and give you shortcuts, or maybe you’re not using your resources wisely or not using the ones that are more practical, or maybe you just need to carve out more time in your day to devote to your work.
  • Surround yourself with people who demonstrate a growth mindset. They are the ones with a can-do attitude, who exhibit positive and optimistic behavior, and who are working hard every day on making themselves better people. Conversely, stay away from those who are constantly negative, critical in always pointing out what they or others are lacking, and who spend too much time talking about others and not enough time on themselves.
  • Keep your mind open to possibilities. When you’re not sure how to proceed with handling or trying something different, start by asking, “what if?” What if you conquer something important that you thought you’d never be able to do a year ago? What if, in the process, you open doors that will take your life in a new direction, that will fill you with optimism and energy? What if that new energy makes you limitless? By developing a growth mindset, you can change your view of yourself and your abilities, which can determine your entire future.

Finally, if the topic of growth mindset sounds interesting to you, get the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. It’s the best way to learn from examples, some of which you will most likely identify with your own life experiences, and to find practical suggestions that can help you become more successful in your studies, your professional life, your relationships, and your personal growth.