Be honest. What scares you about being average? Just going through life? Just letting time tick away? Letting every day be just like the day before? Letting things happen to you instead of for you?
Or is it that you’re worried your life will not be extraordinary in some way? Maybe you think others are doing more important things whereas you don’t have the vision of where you need to go, or which skills you could improve to make a name for yourself?
Regardless of your answer, what’s important to understand is this: being average might just mean you aren’t being proactive about your life. It’s likely that you spend your days in reactive mode, and your motivation to do or be anything different is at a low point. And right now you’re reading these words because the situation is bothering you. You feel like something needs to change. You don’t want the feeling of being and staying average to remain a part of your everyday life.
And that is GOOD!
Now, what can you do about it?
Short answer: you need to start taking control of your life.
And starting today, that needs to become your top priority.
Here are 10 tips that can help you gain more control over where you want to go.
Tip #1. Start expecting things. BIG things. Things you can be part of. Things that you can change for the better: the status of your education, a problem at work, the way you lead your personal life. Imagine a better scenario for yourself, consider what needs to happen to make it a reality, then come up with a concrete plan. And don’t stop there. Do something, starting today, however small, to make it real. Give it 5 minutes today. Then do some more small things tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that.
Tip #2. Have an opinion. YOUR OWN. Just because your friends say something is good, bad, interesting, dull, cool, not cool, totally acceptable or not, does not mean you need to mirror what they say or do. Practice your critical-thinking skills. Ask yourself if the thing in question is important to you, and if it is, why it’s important. Or if it isn’t, then ask yourself why you should waste time on it. Question things. Don’t blindly accept what you’re told. Grow that critical thinking muscle.
Tip #3. Be proud of what makes you unique. It may be your heritage, the value system you’ve been raised with, the color of your skin, the languages you speak, even the tiny bits and pieces of who you are. The way you like to cook your food. Your book or music collection. Your goals. The way you see your future. Pick something that you find beautiful in that mix, and nurture it every single day.
Tip #4. Dream. This is a super important one. Yes, dream—and not just at night. Dream while you’re awake. Dream about the what ifs. Dream in small pieces. Dream in minutes or even seconds. Give yourself the time to do it. Put down that phone, step away from the laptop. Create some space for dreaming. And never listen to people who tell you that you need to give up your dreams and grow up. Those people? They’re clueless.
Tip #5. Stop talking non-stop. Want to avoid being average? Don’t make constant chatter a top priority. What can help? To start, don’t assume people are there to just listen to you. It’s not all about you. Wisdom comes through listening and observing. Listen to what people are talking about. Hear what they’re telling you. Focus on their words and the ideas they share with you. Observe their behavior. Learn about the world in this way.
Tip #6. Respect yourself. Because respect is where everything that’s truly important to your self-development begins. Value who you are, what you are doing, who you are becoming. Value your time and your efforts. Value your skills and what you’re good at. Be aware of your entire journey and how difficult it is to achieve the things you’ve already done. Don’t take everything you’ve accomplished for granted. If you take it all for granted, so will everyone else. Respect starts with you. Others will follow.
Tip #7. Focus on mastery. If you really want to get better at something, you need to keep working on it. This applies to improving your personal relationships, picking up a skill you need for school or work, building positive habits, showing compassion towards others, and whatever else you believe is important to you in life. Don’t just talk about wanting to do things or try a thousand different things and then abandon them. Make something stick. Become a master at them step by step, in small increments, every single day.
Tip #8. Read. Read a LOT. Not only stuff on the Internet, or what you have to read for school or work. Read books. Big books. Novels. Books written by Nobel prize winners. Books by writers who are considered the classics because they’ve stood the test of time: Dostoyevsky, Faulkner, Hemingway, Camus, Orwell, and so many more. Explore other centuries, different points of view, characters who were challenged by circumstances similar to yours or perhaps not at all. Read to feed your brain. Read to expand your mind about what is possible.
Tip #9. Stop treating your cell phone as a crystal ball through which you see life. It may be a mini computer feeding you information packaged in attractive apps. So you open your eyes in the morning and immediately start scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. Throughout the day, you keep checking for more notifications, text messages from friends, news alerts. Every single day. How do you make things different? Don’t let your phone rule your life. It’s a tool that can make information more accessible, yes. But be aware of how much time you devote to it. Change things. Look up. See the world. Experience it in real time. By yourself.
Tip #10. Work on becoming a person others can look up to. You know those stories your friends share about someone who did something unexpected, illogical, unreasonable, selfish, foolish, or just plain dumb, or chose something that took them off their life path and caused them to lose focus of what’s truly important in life? Don’t be that person. Use your intelligence. Make smart choices—big or small—and make sure those choices all help you get on the path to become the best version of yourself. Create a personal goal to become someone people seek to gain knowledge in a particular field of expertise, or to be a person friends come to when they need guidance or just a warm embrace. Or, strive to be someone’s hero (or as the Greeks called ἥρως (hērōs): a warrior, a defender, a protector. All those goals will empower you to lead an extraordinary life. And there’s nothing average about that!