Wonderful question.
I think the answer is a combination of several things: understanding yourself and what you truly want, focusing less on what other people want, being realistic, holding yourself accountable, and starting with a simple question that will encourage you to take action.
This is an exercise in introspection. Allow yourself some time to focus on each element, ask yourself questions that will get your mindset on board about goal-setting, and if you’d like use this opportunity to write down your answers. This will be your blueprint for moving forward.
Ready?
Here are the 5 steps.
STEP 1. Think about which goals are the right fit for you.
You may initially think that every goal you currently have set for yourself is a right fit. But what if that’s not the case? It often happens that while we’re thinking about goals, we get distracted by what we hear. It’s inevitable — sooner or later you will hear other people give you advice and share their ideas of what they want you to do, what they discourage you from doing, and who they want you to become (this goes for professional and personal life, and even your role in the community you live in). This is exactly why it’s important to separate a goal that you truly want for yourself, from a goal that was suggested by or imposed by someone else — a family member, best friend, partner, or even someone you don’t know personally but admire and follow on social media.
Ask yourself:
- Is this someone else’s goal? If it is, it won’t be realistic for you and your specific personal or professional aspirations. And if it’s not realistic for you, then you will have a difficult time being motivated to work on it.
- If it’s my goal, how much do I care about reaching it? Is it something I’ve always wanted for myself, but was afraid to admit it? Is it a goal that, once I reach it, will give me more confidence and boost my life experience?
STEP 2. Think big and think forward.
Thinking big means exactly that — consider everything you would ideally want for yourself in life. You can call it creating the “big picture” of your life. Of course, this is the best case scenario, the ideal version, something you may have dreamt about since you were younger. Thinking forward is the second part — it’s not necessarily what you hope to achieve in six months or a year from now, but what you would like your life to be in a decade or two.
Ask yourself:
- WHERE do I see myself in the future five or ten years from today? It doesn’t have to mean a specific geographical region, city, or country; it’s more about where you see yourself in terms of personal development and types of skills you want to have.
- WHO do I want to become? Yes, it can be who you want to become professionally (CFO of a Fortune 100 company, college professor, professional athlete, business owner, chef); also, it can be the type of role you want to have in your community (organizer, leader, event planner, problem-solver, mentor).
- WHAT is my ideal life scenario? Do I dream of living in a specific city or country, would I like to live with a partner and have a family, do I see myself as an expert in a particular field of expertise, what kind of social circle do I want to belong to, what does my version of work-life balance look like?
STEP 3. Put it in writing.
Now that you’ve given this topic some thought, it’s time to start writing things down. Here’s where you’ll turn your ideas about goals into specific steps you’ll take to make them feel more tangible and real. For this section of the exercise, you will need more time. I suggest you take a couple of hours one evening or weekend when you can write without distractions. Keeping your mind on what’s important will be critical to making progress.
Write down the following:
- Your top 3 goals. They can be long-term goals you have been considering for years (but haven’t yet done anything about), a few professional goals you identified in the past year or two and maybe started working on for a while, or several goals you came up with as you’ve started this exercise.
- Under each goal, write 3 things you need to do consistently to achieve it. This can mean practicing a skill three times a week, setting aside an hour a day for research, or taking an online class to earn a certificate or diploma you can add to your resume.
- Make a schedule for the week. It doesn’t help to keep thinking about what needs to be done; it’s best to write the schedule and block off time to make progress in the areas you’ve identified. Keep it realistic. If this week you don’t have a lot of free time, schedule 30 minutes for an activity. It may not sound like a significant amount, but you’ll be surprised how much that time adds up without having to give up other activities you already know you’ll have to do.
STEP 4. Think about accountability.
If you’re working on something, it should all add up — in other words, it will help if you measure your success. If you don’t evaluate your efforts, how will you know if you’re on the right track? After following your new schedule for one week, assess how much progress you made.
Ask yourself:
- Which activities were easy? What contributed to making them easy?
- Which activities took more time than I anticipated? Why did they take as long?
- What areas can I improve on? For example, if I run out of time, which shortcuts can I try?
- How much extra time can I dedicate to this? For example, can I add 30 more minutes to my schedule so I don’t feel rushed?
- How will I measure my success? Can I set milestones for each week, create deadlines for myself, have a monthly recap of what went well and how much closer I am to my goals?
STEP 5. Encourage yourself to take action with one simple question.
This is a mini habit you can practice first thing in the morning. It shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes. Start the day by asking yourself, “What is the ONE THING I am committed to completing today?” It’s a question I’ve been asking for many years and it has helped me to stay focused and prioritize only what’s the most important, without wasting time on evaluating many options and distracting myself with them.
Practice this habit by doing the following:
- Write the question in large letters on a sheet of paper. Hang the paper on your bedroom or bathroom wall. The important part is that you can easily see it as you’re brushing your teeth or getting ready.
- Read it out loud in the morning. Come up with an answer on the spot. The trick is to get your eyes on it so that it becomes second nature and you don’t even think about having to glance over to it any more.
- Think about your answer throughout the day. When you keep it top of mind, you won’t get easily distracted.
📘Goal-setting is one of the most popular topics on Quora, and I’ve written extensively about them for the past seven years. That’s why I created a workbook outlining these tips called 5 Ideas for Setting Realistic Goals. It’s a 35-page printable book with step-by-step instructions, templates, and a list of recommended reading materials. Learn more about it on this page of my blog.
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